it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
