I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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