Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
