cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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