Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize