Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
