Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
the liver wants what the liver wants
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
