i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.