I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
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Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy