Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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  (703): So... how did lowering your standards work out last night? http://tfl.nu/lq5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1189) Bad night (687)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls

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  (561): i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls http://tfl.nu/2rar
  Replies (20) Good night (3411) Bad night (829)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news

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  (305): Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news http://tfl.nu/t3j8
  Replies (46) Good night (620) Bad night (5945)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

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  (330): you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there. http://tfl.nu/1912
  Replies (7) Good night (6169) Bad night (1091)
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  (415): View more from California

  MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?

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  (415): MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone? http://tfl.nu/5bs9
  Replies (14) Good night (756) Bad night (3000)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something

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  (917): Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something http://tfl.nu/o4s2
  Replies (7) Good night (3918) Bad night (1173)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him

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  (614): Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him http://tfl.nu/w6qf
  Replies (19) Good night (5195) Bad night (1125)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im here for your entertainment

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  (401): Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you. (603): im here for your entertainment http://tfl.nu/u5ht
  Replies (7) Good night (2659) Bad night (833)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

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  (732): his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening. http://tfl.nu/ib1o
  Replies (10) Good night (3095) Bad night (1665)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

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  (216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t
  Replies (2) Good night (1936) Bad night (858)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Let's just rave with boners that last for hours

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  (410): Let's just rave with boners that last for hours http://tfl.nu/lox1
  Replies (27) Good night (1815) Bad night (1102)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

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  (785): Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots. http://tfl.nu/uyhv
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (1903)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!

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  (601): This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK! http://tfl.nu/gkpr
  Replies (11) Good night (1348) Bad night (589)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...

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  (250): I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes... http://tfl.nu/uyv6
  Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (405)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene

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  (917): Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene http://tfl.nu/53z4
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (333)

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