so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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