I am spending my child support on dildos
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.