Texts From Last Night

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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  (971): There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home. http://tfl.nu/78m4
  Replies (15) Good night (4122) Bad night (774)
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  (714): View more from California

  they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.

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  (714): they just dont make restraining orders like they used to. http://tfl.nu/scp3
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (3258)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (969) Bad night (3844)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.

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  (215): i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history. http://tfl.nu/28mn
  Replies (12) Good night (2795) Bad night (1112)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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  (307): I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.. http://tfl.nu/boas
  Replies (15) Good night (5180) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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  (989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah
  Replies (30) Good night (1804) Bad night (7833)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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  (832): I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed. http://tfl.nu/rvfy
  Replies (38) Good night (8907) Bad night (1950)
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  (818): View more from California

  Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

  (818): View more from California

  And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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  (818): Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas. (818): And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you. http://tfl.nu/hyux
  Replies (14) Good night (5534) Bad night (1252)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out

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  (253): Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out http://tfl.nu/bygf
  Replies (4) Good night (6592) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2314) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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  (702): The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves (806): That's not technology. Doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/x0wz
  Replies (3) Good night (1721) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?

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  (850): Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes? http://tfl.nu/yaod
  Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night

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  (306): I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night http://tfl.nu/ov8q
  Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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  (951): I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card http://tfl.nu/akau
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist

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  (802): Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist http://tfl.nu/fe8s
  Replies (7) Good night (674) Bad night (385)

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