Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
