I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
