U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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