Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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