i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
