THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
