Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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