You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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