This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize