Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
