I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
