Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry about my life...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I smell like Dick and happiness
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
