She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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