I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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