watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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