i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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