I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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