Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize