wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
