It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
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just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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