i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
