So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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