I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
