Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
