Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
