i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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