epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
