Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
