i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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