Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its not stalking. its research.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
