her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
