I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
