people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
