Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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