im having a threesome with these popsicles
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
