Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
