What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
