too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
