i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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