If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
