The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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