tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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