Umm I'm too high to move.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
