Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
