dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.