the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card