I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.