toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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