I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
