I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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