love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
