That's intense
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
