she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm just crazy horny about you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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